The Most Powerful Woman In America

time coverAs I was standing in line at the grocery store the other day, Time magazine caught my eye.  An attractive woman was on the cover with the line “Don’t hate her because she is successful” and under it was her name and claim that she had “a mission to reboot Feminism”  I guess being the top dog at Facebook gives her that authority.

I am struggling to order my thoughts as I am writing even though I have written this blog in my head a hundred times.  The problem I am having is that this cover stirs up so much in me I can’t decide which dog to turn lose first.  So I think I will just start with the first thought that popped into my head.  Those of you who know me might have just cringed.

Thought # 1– Why does feminism need a reboot?  It seems to being going strong, every day I see angry women raging on the news with their tight lips, unhappy eyes, and scowling faces telling me that I would be happier if I put myself first and through off the out of date ideas that children need a mother and that I need a husband.  (Which I do need him, he is my rock and I am not ashamed to admit that I am happily dependent on him).  I really can’t understand why they think that smart, intelligent women who are happy with their lives of raising their babies, have happy marriages, and are content to be busy making a home would want to trade that kind of contentment for raging, angry tirades.  This particular woman was thought to be a shinning example because she is running facebook, really- what eternal value does facebook have?  I’ll take Mother Teresa any day.

Maybe it is not a reboot that feminism needs it is a revamp- to embrace those traits that are truly feminine.

Thought #2– Where do they get the term “feminism” anyway?  I mean really- to be considered feminine is have certain traits about you.  To be soft ( not weak, picture a fist of steel wrapped in velvet and satin) and kind, to be smart, and attractive (not just in looks, but in your demeanor, people want to be around you), to be dignified and refined, to be fierce- like a mamma bear when her cubs are threatened.  All of these traits I see in Godly women I would like to emulate, not in the forerunners of this movement who demand this and that, who are angry and fierce- the scary kind of fierce that won’t tolerate anyone who thinks differently than they do.  These women who demand the right to kill their unborn children because they have a “Choice”- yes, you do have a choice to wait until you are married to have sex, simple as that- are not examples of what I want to be as a woman.

These women are not feminine- they are the very opposite of what we females were designed to be.

Thought #3– What exactly is their problem and why do they think feminism needs a reboot?  I think many of their issues rest in the fact that women still make up a small percentage of the “high up” positions in the work force.  Have they ever stopped to consider that maybe the numbers are what they are not because women “can’t get the jobs because they are female” but because women as a whole will not sacrifice their families for their career.  This thought will greatly chap the hides of a lot of  the “feminist” movers and shakers but it seems to me that there are too many women who have achieved their goals of getting to the top for it to be an impossibility.

“”Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15:13

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Mark 8:35 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.

The Bible is full of references to sacrifice, dying to your own desires and then finding fulfillment on the other side.

 

Thought #4– Who is the most powerful woman in America? or the World?  It is that woman who lays down her life to nurture, raise, and guide the next generation.

Society is a fabric- each thread woven together is a human life, each human thread is spun at home.  When society has the awful problems with school shootings, teen pregnancy,  greed, abuse and violence the problem is not with society in itself, but a breakdown in the home.  So the women that are choosing to put the next generation first whether that be by staying at home full time to be a wife and a mother or being that teacher that gives of herself above and beyond against the odds, or the working mother who turns down a promotion so that she won’t have to sacrifice her time with her children, or in any other facet where she finds the ability to make a difference- these are the most powerful women in America and the World.

I do not reject the idea that women are capable of great things outside the home, that they have the abilities to work at the highest levels or even that some women are called to do so.  I reject the idea that if I choose to lay down my own pursuits to put my husband and children first in my priority list that I have some how fallen short of what I was designed to be as a woman.  It takes a very strong woman to be secure in herself, to take on the challenges of building a healthy marriage and raising the next generation and to stand against the current that is telling her to abandon her post, and to trust her God to take care of all the things that she cannot control- that is femininity at it’s highest.

I know I sound a bit angry in this post, but that would be because this issue does make me angry. The home has been in large part abandoned and children are left to parent themselves with the help of “Jersey Shore” and “16 and Pregnant” while both parents pursue their own lives and we then wonder why there is a breakdown in society.  The home is worth fighting for and I am tired of listening to those that are wrong say they are right.  Instead of looking at it as an unfair yoke, being the gender that was trusted with bringing forth the next generation and having the fate of society & the world rest in your hands should be revered as the highest honor on the planet.

 

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22 thoughts on “The Most Powerful Woman In America

  1. Holly, I appreciate your comments. Without getting too lengthy… I think in past decades women didn’t feel appreciated for all the things they did for the home and started looking for fulfillment elsewhere. I agree that many, if not most, problems in our societies does stem from the breakdown of the home- no one there to guide children and make a safe place to come home to.

    I think it takes women to offer support to other women, and men, so women who choose to maintain a home and raise their children are not made to feel lesser, but are more valued. But, then… we seem to have a lot of our priorities upside down- teachers are woefully underpaid, nurses are overworked, mothers are not valued by our society that does value money, prestige, stardom and other self-serving rewards.

    OK– that’s enough for now! I don’t want to rant on.

    Anyway, thanks for taking on this subject.

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  2. HAHA! Well done! You and I share many similar feelings on feminism. That being said, I DO have friends in the movement and they don’t agree with me even a little. lol That’s okay. I recognize that there was a place for the movement… like the movement for women and voting and the right to equal pay for equal work. In a way, I’m an angry woman… ONLY because I’ve grown up in a family who hated women. I’ve raised very strong girls and wouldn’t allow them to take crap from a man, simply because he has a penis. lol THAT being said, I’m in COMPLETE agreement that the word feminism means to be female like. We’ve lost that somewhere along the way. I think we can be strong and proud BUT also be very female. I’m proud of the fact that I look fantastic in a dress and am a fantastic cook and that I am now a stay at home mom. Most of my adult life, I was in charge of a corporation in a man’s world. The single most important job I’ve done and the job I’m MOST proud of is my job as a mother. It’s MY job to raise 4 strong girls and I take great pride in that. They truly are our future. If we can’t stay home (some of us) and raise our children, who are we trusting to raise them? I realize that this isn’t possible for all women or that some women don’t even want to stay home with their families. That’s okay too. Just give those of us who want to be moms our due credit as we give them the credit for doing their important jobs. We live in America, the land of the free. I feel entirely free, as a woman to do whatever the heck I decide to. Right now, it’s with my teenage daughter.

    Thanks for a beautiful post!

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    • You are right, there was a time when women’s rights needed to be championed, but now it has gone to far to the other side. I raised/am still raising 3 strong women and one chivalrous man. I have never regretted a minute of the 20 years I have been at home with all of them.

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  3. Reblogged this on My Homestead Odyssey and commented:
    I agree with this whole-heartily! I thought about trying to write my own version of this post, but it was so beautifully written, I decided to borrow instead. Thank you for sharing, Holly!

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  4. Holly,
    This is so true. The reality is that more and more women are realizing they can’t “have it all”. In their quest to climb the corporate ladder, their families suffer. They hire someone else to clean their houses and raise their kids so they can focus. I believe wholeheartedly that each woman’s journey is unique to her. But I have yet to meet anyone who wished they spent more time at work instead of home with their families. Sometimes it’s a necessity for women to earn a living. Other times it’s a choice. I’m thankful for the choice I was allowed to make. We choose to live without many things so I can be home with my kids. It works for us.

    Thanks for sharing!!
    Lori

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    • Thanks, I know a lot of my generation is choosing differently and I am glad. Each person’s journey is certainly their own and I am grateful to have had a husband who wanted me home. But just because you work doesn’t mean that your job is your first priority.

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      • I just reread my post…sounded a bit harsh. I recently quit a part time job and realized later I was making that a priority (although that’s not why I quit). I was talking about myself…sorry for the condemning attitude…sheesh!

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  5. You are really quite ignorant. You chose to stay home, feminism says that is awesome that you had that choice, and they’re happy that you had the agency to make it. Still, some women are made to stay home or treated with disrespect if they leave it. That isn’t okay. As long as a woman isn’t taken as seriously, listened to with as much attention, or credited fully for the work she has done, feminism is still needed. We’ve come a long way, but we’re still working to become fully equal.

    I’m happy you’ve found your place, are so content in your life and are treated with respect and trust on a daily basis. It is my hope that other men and women in our world are too, through feminism that can happen.

    If you’re still unsure, turn on the news. The blowjob joke on ESPN last week? That was anti-feminist. The treatment Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton experience on a day-to-day basis? That’s anti-feminist. Fat shaming Kim Kardashian? That’s anti-feminist. The sexualization of Angie on American Idol? That’s anti-feminst. The fact that you have the right to write this blog? That’s feminist.

    Open your eyes.

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    • I may be a lot of things, but ignorant on this subject is not one of them.
      Simone de Beauvoir is one of the current leaders of the feminine movement. Just this past year she was interviewed by Vogue Magazine, which I read, and in this article she states that NO woman EVER should stay home or be allowed to stay home with her children, that children are much better off in a day care. Obviously not applauding women who choose to stay home. Furthermore, this supposition on Simone’s part goes against everything I ever learned as a child psychology major as to what creates stable and happy children who then turn into stable an happy adults who will treat all humans with respect.

      Feminism does not seek equality, it seeks superiority.

      All that mess on the news is not just anti-feminism or feminism- it is about humanity. Feminism- the real ideology not just what you want it to be- is not concerned with all human rights, just what it believes that women should be and what they believe is best for them. The world is a better place due to humanitarian efforts, not the feminist movement.
      You are a prime example of how the feminist movement thrives on ignorance.

      Here are two other sources- http://whyiamnotafeminist.com/2013/03/16/feminism-isnt-whatever-you-want-it-to-be/ and a pro-proponent of the feminist movement who might clear up your confusion- http://casualnatural.wordpress.com/2013/03/14/having-a-vagina-does-not-automatically-make-your-demand-feminist/. Yes, I read information on both sides of the argument- the definition of NOT being ignorant. I should hope you will look at these other sites, after all, I would not want you to remain ignorant.

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      • … She died in the eighties… I knew Vogue was big, but interviewing the dead, that’s pretty intense. Interesting.

        It’s a common misconception that feminism is not about equality but instead superiority. The heart of feminsm is about humanity and does not aim to overpower men, it simply wants women to be heard porportionately to men.

        You can choose to ignore the work that the feminist movement has done. I guess that’s your choice…Did you honestly just attempt to prove your point by linking to popular press sources that both lean anti-feminist?

        I hope that if you do by chance have daughters that they’re aware of their strength. That they’re media literate and understand how far they’ve come, how far they have to go, and that they appreciate the men and women who got them this far. I hope that if you have sons that they also know that they don’t always have to be strong. That emotions are healthy, that a person’s body is their own. That they don’t always have to be the hero. I hope they are also media literate and will appreciate the women around them not because they’re women, but because they’re people.

        And for you, I hope that one day you realize that we’re fighting for you, not against you. Mothering is a big job and should be appreciated as such.

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  6. I’ve been reading your blog for several weeks and have very much enjoyed your posts. I feel compelled to reply to this particular post as I feel there are more sides to this particular issue.

    Feminism (according to Wikipedia) is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

    While I know many are put off by the word feminism, there are some good things that have come from women’s movements. As women, we now have the right to vote. We have a voice that allows us to help choose our elected officials. As women we have the right to an education. As women we are offered the opportunity to go into the workforce, if we so choose. As women in the workforce, we should be given equal pay for equal work. We should be given the opportunity to climb the coporate ladder if we choose. As women, we should not be treated as less important than a man. There are countries in which woman are treated as sub-human. They are beaten, raped, uneducated, and slaves to man. Feminism has made positive changes in some countries and is beginning to change make changes in others.

    I know it seems easy to place blame on feminism as causing the break-down in the family structure. I don’t feel that we can blame a movement for negative changes in our society. Any break-down in family values must be put on the entire family, specifically the parents. In the same way I’ve seen families fall apart due to a woman’s drive to succeed in the workplace, I’ve also seen families fall apart due to a man’s drive to succeed in the workplace. I’ve seen families fall apart due to lack of work. I’ve seen families fall apart due to financial difficulities. I’ve seen families fall apart because the parents could not come to an agreement on how to raise their children. I’ve seen families fall apart due to addiction. Families fall apart because they have not worked to find proper balance in their lives. They have not figured out how to work out their problems.

    On the flip side, I’ve seen families work together to achieve big successes even with one or both parents striving to climb the preverbial “corporate ladder.” The parents are happy and successful, raising happy and successful children. These families have found balance. They’ve found the secret of making their family successful.

    Also, we must keep in mind that some woman who are striving for success aren’t wives or mothers. They are single women focused on their lives and careers.

    I have chosen a lifestyle that works for me and works for my family. It’s not a lifestyle that others would choose, in the same way I’ve not chosen to live a lifestyle that works for others. I applaud those who are able to balance work and family successfully. I hope that those who have found that balance, will strive to do so. I cannot sit in judgement of the choices made by other women. That isn’t my job. My job is to be the best wife and mother I can be inside and outside my home. My job is to provide my girls with the tools they need to achieve happiness and success in their lives.

    Based on the definition of feminism , I would consider myself a feminist. I want woman all over the world to have equal opportunity politically, socially, and economically. I want women all over the world to have an opportunity to receive the same level of education as their male counterparts. I want women all over the world to live their life in the way they feel is best for them and their families.

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    • I appreciate your taking the time to respond. Wikepedia is a source that is known to be highly inaccurate, all of my daughters teachers and college professors do not allow it as a reference for their work. Simone de Beauvoir is one of the movements current leaders and just this past year I read an interview of her in Vogue magazine in which she stated that NO woman ever should stay home with her children, that they were all better off being in a day care. So, the feminist movement is not an advocate of family values and creating the best environment for children.
      I would suggest that you take more time to really understand the ideology that you are advocating.

      All of the reasons for families falling apart can be traced back to the home. I have been at home and I have worked. When my real estate career took too much time and my kids were needing more than I had to give, I laid the career down. The older two are adults now and still talk about how glad they were when I came back home. I have spent too much time taking care of their friends whose parents were too busy and helping them with the pressure of growing up to believe even for one minute that two parents working is just as good for the children as one parent being at home and engaged.

      Social injustices were not corrected by solely feminist movements, they have been corrected by humans doing what is right for all humans, black, white, male or female. I am not addressing or condemning every woman who ever worked. It would be stupid to say that a woman who has no children should sit at home and twiddle her thumbs. If you re-read the last two paragraphs of my blog post you would see clearly what I am stating. However, I believe that you had closed your mind to the point I was making long before you got to the last statements of the article.

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  7. I appreciate reading your thoughts and opinions. While I don’t completely disagree, I do happen to see things a little differently then you do and that’s okay.
    Ultimately, we are both women with different life experiences who want what is best for their families.

    To share just a bit of what I mean, I am a stay-at-home mom who raised 3 sons (one with autism) then started all over again by adopting two little girls via international adoption. I also homeschool. I’ve seen what inequality can do to women. My girls are not with their birth families as a result of gender inequality. So when I say that based on the definition I provided I would consider myself a feminist, please understand that my belief is in a woman’s right to live our their dreams without fear. I want them to have the opportunity to get an education and not just any education, but a great education. I want them to have the freedom to be part of our political process. I want them to become wives, mothers, secretaries, CEO’s of big corporations or whatever they choose to do. I believe that advocating for those rights is my job as a woman and as their mother. So while I don’t necessarily agree with what any feminist movement leader believes, I do believe in ending gender inequalities. I also believe in ending cultural inequalities, but that’s probably another blog post for another time 🙂

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